Foot in Mouth Disease

And the nominations for this year's "Please Just Let The Ground Open And Swallow Me Up" award for most embarrassed student are:

- The student who, when I asked for an example of a song that uses franglais, piped up without thinking, "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?". To which I simply grinned and told her it was very kind and we'd talk about it later.

- The lad whose so-called friend had told him that the English word for soudeur ('welder') was, in fact, 'blowjobber'. He had just announced to the class, during a discussion on future careers, that this was what he wanted to be. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed, me or him, when I had to explain to him what the word actually meant...

- The student who told the class that his biggest complaint about his parents is that his mother is a dominatrix. Another of those occasions where it's difficult to decide if it would be worse to explain what he just said, or not to...

- The lad I saw this afternoon in the lingerie section of a large department store in Rennes. My students always seem amazed enough as it is when they see me out of school - as if I sleep upside down from the rafters like a bat when I'm not teaching - but the look on his face was priceless when he realised he'd been caught traipsing round looking at bras and enormous knickers with his Mum. That's the last time he'll be asking for my phone number in class.